The bestest Bible: Genesis 6

God says he’ll drown everyone on earth except the fish. God seems to like fish.

This is the part where God says he’ll drown everyone on earth along with all the other creatures, even the creeping things. But not the fish. God seems to like fish. That’s why he invented Fridays.

But an old guy named Noah won’t drown and neither will his kids and their wives (apart from Tarquin, his youngest). Nor will shit loads of animals. They’ll all suffocate instead below decks in a massive boat with only one window.