Tag: Adam and Eve

The bestest Bible: Genesis 4 (Where did all those women come from?)

God gets really confused about who is who, what blood is for, how to make babies and how to maintain a coherent narrative arc

In this bit God gets really confused about who is who, what blood is for, how to make babies and how to maintain a coherent narrative arc. We also meet the oldest bloke in the world, the bestest sea captain makes a brief appearance at the end and we definitely have some questions to ask about God’s attitude to gay relationships. And poor old Eve has more kids than you can shake a stick at!

The bestest Bible – Genesis:3

Following their dirty weekend in Marbella, Adam and Eve return to the garden

Following their dirty weekend in Marbella, Adam and Eve return to the garden only to find that God got bored waiting for their return and made a couple of imposters instead.

And then there was all that stuff about the apples… Nasty business, that was!

The bestest Bible 2: Genesis 1&2

When do we get the dinosaurs? We want dinosaurs!

When do we get the dinosaurs? We want dinosaurs!

 Genesis 1

1 In the beginning God got bored and created the heaven and the earth. He made it out of nothing, thus proving that out of nothing something comes, even if it takes a magic spell to do it.

Try suggesting that to your average Christian. They can’t tell you why Gandalf saying Abracadabra to defeat the Balrog is any different from God speaking the universe into existence but they still won’t admit that it’s magic!